Carrier Pigeons and Colleges

It’s your local goat lover, Allison.

Colleges (I can practically feel the collective sigh of everyone reading this because OF COURSE everyone is just as sick of hearing about colleges as I am and no one wants to read about colleges because all anyone ever talks about is college, now that senior year is underway and the next round of rookie freshman will be leaving their homes and setting up their dorms in less than a year and everyone and their pet dog suddenly needs to know what college everyone else wants to attend, as if they might just die if they don’t know everyone’s personal preference of university or as if they’ve suddenly forgotten how to speak about any other topic but college to a high school senior…. Where was I going with this?) Oh, colleges, right. (But really, what’s wrong with the world? What if someone doesn’t want to go to college? Are you going to stand there in withering silence and smile when they’ve told you they won’t be attending college and they know you’re judging them for making a different life decision than you and you know you’re judging them but you’re pretending not to and its just terribly awkward? Or what if they just don’t want to talk about it because the school they really want to go to is a reach for them and they’re scared they’re not going to be accepted and then they’ll have to go somewhere else when everyone knows they clearly wanted to be attending a different school and it’s embarrassing because EVERYONE WILL KNOW they didn’t get in and it’ll be so obvious they were rejected. Or what if it’s stressful enough without everyone and their mother calling them or texting them or snapchatting them or sending a carrier pigeon to ask them where they’re applying to college? And don’t even get me started about being with other students. It’s like seniors have been hard wired to only discuss college when they’re together. And either two people are both trying to get into Ivies and the chances of them both getting in are basically slim to none and they have to ignore this fact and be cheerful and happy about their prospective futures or one wants to go to an Ivy and the other wants to go to community college and it’s this awkward inequality that both parties are trying to ignore and move past. So why does everyone need to keep talking about colleges because most people who ask about it are just trying to make small talk and they don’t really care about where anyone else is attending college and they’re probably going to forget the list of ten universities Joe Schmoe is applying to and they probably don’t even recognize half of them anyway, so why can’t they just ask about the weather since that’s much easier to talk about and no one really cares anyway? The weather is great and when they’re in college they can tell you all about the weather there too. Plus its relatable because everyone knows what sun and snow and rain are but no one really cares who’s applying to Kalamazoo College or College of the Ozarks anyway.) Okay but really where was I going with this? Whatever.

Sorry this post was highjacked by college. I’m a senior, it’s the only thing I know how to talk about.

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